How One Teen Found Confidence with the Help of Close Friends

Matt, 18, from Londonderry, New Hampshire, is enjoying his freshman year of college and doesn’t allow his chronic eczema to hold him back in any way. But he didn’t always have this level of confidence.

Growing up with severe atopic dermatitis, the most common type of eczema, Matt says he was self-conscious about his skin and remembers often feeling lonely. In a conversation with the National Eczema Association (NEA), Matt shared how he broke out of his shell to create friendships that ultimately changed his perspective and experience for the better. 

The interview has been condensed for length and clarity.

NEA: You’ve had eczema almost your entire life. Looking back on your childhood, why do you think it impacted you feeling lonely?

Matt: When I was younger, having eczema could be a burden on my confidence. It felt difficult to make friends at times because I was so insecure about my skin. I struggled to approach other kids because I didn’t know if they would be judgmental. 

NEA: Over time, you learned how to explain your eczema to others. What would you say?

Matt: People would notice that my skin was red and ask what I had. I’d explain, “I have eczema. It’s like poison ivy, but it’s not contagious. It affects only me. If you touch me, you won’t get it.”

I mean, other people have eczema. But some of them only have it on their hands or in the creases of their arms or legs. When seeing someone like me, where it’s affecting my whole body, people just didn’t know what to think. And that could hurt my confidence.

NEA: You’ve been a hockey player for a long time. How did playing that sport begin to change things?

Matt: It really was an outlet for me. Since my whole body was covered in gear, I felt more confident going up to people on the ice and talking with them.

For example, at a tryout, the other players didn’t know me. It was easier to approach someone on the ice and have a conversation. While my face was a little red, so was everyone else’s because we were all working hard. It felt easier to make friends in that environment.

But I wouldn’t approach people off the ice. After I made the team, we’d go out for pizza sometimes but beyond that, I stuck to myself.

NEA: Talking to other kids on the ice — it sounds like that was a great start for you! Did those interactions grow into friendships?

Matt: Yeah, sports made it easier to make friends because it gave us something to connect on. As I grew up, teammates I played hockey and soccer with were aware of my skin condition and were accepting of it. 

The more we hung out, the more we found we had things in common. We spent all our free time in school together, and after practice we’d play video games. I found it was much easier to make more friends once I had those close companions. We had mutual friends and I got to know even more people through them. 

NEA: Did these friendships help grow your confidence?

Matt: Yes, because they saw past my skin. They didn’t care about it, which gave me more confidence about doing new things. 

They didn’t judge me for needing to take an extra 10 minutes to apply moisturizing lotion when my skin was dry. And they understood that sometimes I needed to sit out of an activity because of my skin. 

I think there’s a maturity aspect too. As I got older, I felt people were less judgmental of my skin. This also helped in raising my confidence.

NEA: You’ve since become an advocate for others with eczema, and even encouraged the New Hampshire House of Representatives to recognize Eczema Awareness Month. What did you gain from that experience?

Matt: I got emotional when I was talking at the state house and even shed a tear or two. 

I really liked how a few representatives came up to me after I was done speaking. They told me about their own issues with eczema or that they had family members with it.

It really revealed that eczema is kind of like a group ordeal. It showed me that I’m not going through this alone. 

NEA: What is your advice to other people with eczema now? What’s the message you’d like to share?

Matt: For younger kids struggling with eczema, they may think their skin will be like this for the rest of their lives. But there is hope. I want them to know that it does get better, and that with the right tools and support, you can learn to live with your eczema in a way that doesn’t define you. 

As for the social aspect — if you were to ask me several years ago whether I would ever be as social as I am today, I would have said “no.” It’s really important to get out of your comfort zone.

I know it’s easier said than done, but my advice is to find a group of kids who share your interests. Whether that’s sports, or theater, or something else, find those people you can relate to. If they’re true friends, they’ll come to understand what you’re going through and will accept you.

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Finding your confidence

The National Eczema Association has partnered with Understand AD™, supported by Sanofi and Regeneron, to create an educational campaign that helps empower people living with eczema (atopic dermatitis) — and their caregivers — with the tools they need to speak up about the impacts of this disease. This year, Understand AD aims to encourage members of the eczema community to “color their confidence,” with a featured series of animated videos that highlight real people and moments in their lives where they felt confident in their skin and sharing their experience with their friends and community. Check out Matt’s video to learn more about his experience — plus find other eczema resources and support — on UnderstandAD.com.

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